I'm moving my site over to www.thatbalancedlife.com, and I'd love for you to join me! See you there!
This year marks my 30th Thanksgiving, and as I've been reflecting, there are many things I am thankful for:
I am thankful for my family. These people have worked to build a solid foundation by which I can live my life. While I have become such a different person than I was when I was growing up, I've been taught so many valuable life lessons. We've had our good days and bad, but I'm thankful that most days have been good, and that we can give each other the space and time we need to live our lives the way we do. I have parents who do everything out of love--and even on the days that it drives me crazy, I am forever grateful. My sister is one of the kindest, most patient people I know, and I am thankful that she can teach me so many things about becoming a better person. Coming home to Alaska always feels like coming home because I am welcomed with open arms by my family. I'm also grateful for my family that I don't get to see or talk to nearly as often--most everyone is full of love and support, no matter how much time passes. I am truly lucky that this is the family I was born into.
I am thankful for my dog. I still feel so fortunate that we found each other six years ago. She fills my heart with love and joy every single day, and my life would not be the same without her. She makes me feel at peace before bed, safe when we're out and about, and happy when we are together. She is so much more than and animal to me--she has supported me through the good times and the bad, and is the best friend a girl could ask for.
I am thankful for my friends. New or longer term--my friends are some of the best people I have ever known. Someone once told me that who we spend time with is reflective of who we are, so I've always tried to surround myself with incredible people who love and support me, love and support each other, are always pushing me to be the best version of myself, and always pushing themselves to be better. I will always do whatever I can to stay in touch, give back at least the same amount of energy that my friends put into our friendship, and support you in living your lives the best way you know how to.
I am thankful for my body. While it doesn't always look and act the way I want it to, I'm very thankful for my health and the strength my body hides within me. It never ceases to amaze me. I've always fallen on the "smaller" end of the spectrum, and have never been particularly athletic for most of my life. If I take a few minutes to think about where I am now, never in a million years did I think that I would be teaching fitness classes, rock climbing (I am terrified of heights!), doing head stands, and pushing my body to its fullest potential. It's not perfect, and that's okay. It doesn't have to be. It does more than I ever thought I could, and for that, I am thankful.
I am thankful for my brain. I may not be the smartest person alive, but I appreciate that I have the ability to learn new things every day of my life, and that I push myself to do so. I am fortunate to be well educated. I can learn from my mistakes of the past and move forward. My fears are slowly being overcome one at a time, and someday, there will come a day where the majority of them have been conquered.
I am thankful for my work. With MammothHR, not only do I get to do work that I love, I get to do it alongside some really incredible people, and get paid for it! I'm thankful that I found a career path I enjoy that allows me to constantly learn and grow every day. I am thankful that I found work that I am passionate about, and that I can give back to the community that has helped me get to where I am in my career.
I am thankful for all the little things in life. There are many daily luxuries that we take for granted every single day--electricity, the Internet, a variety of delicious and nutritious foods, potable water, clear air, above ground toilets--not everyone has access to these things on a regular or consistent basis, and I am thankful that I live in a place and have a life where I can truly appreciate the many conveniences that these luxuries provide.
I am thankful for music. Books and movies too, but mostly music. Music moves me to feel a wide range of emotions by connecting with me in a way that books and movies do not. Music brings people together, allowing us to share sound and movement (because many times with music comes dancing!) It's something I can do to meditate, relax, and find pure bliss.
And lastly, I am thankful to be alive. I wake up every morning knowing that life is not guaranteed, and that I'm given the same 24 hours each day as everyone else is, but it's up to me to decide how I spend that time. If at any time I am unhappy with my life, it is up to me to change it, and there are times when it's perfectly okay to be unhappy with how things are going. It's not always going to be puppies and rainbows, but I live a pretty wonderful life, and am very thankful for that fact.
For a lot of people, turning 30 can be a really big deal. From what I've read and heard, it seems to be the time where most people stop and reflect on their lives, thinking about where they thought they'd be by the time they turn 30. This might cause quite a bit of panic in your average 20-something, but I've put a lot of thought and energy into how I would like to end life in my 20s, and welcome my 30s with open arms.
Over the past year and a half, I've challenged myself to complete a list of 30 things to do before I turn 30. If you look at my list, you'll notice that I've specifically put things on it that I know I can accomplish. Some of it might have been a little bit of a stretch, but at the end of the day, the ability to complete any of these tasks is under my control. This means that nowhere on my list does it say get married or be at a specific place in my career. The items on my list were put there primarily to broaden my mental, emotional, and physical horizons. Many of the items are fun, but challenging. Some of them seemed fairly simple or shallow at the surface, but have changed who I am as a person, or my perspective on the world.
The final item on my list to complete is by far the most important to me. I decided that I wanted to welcome in my 30s by creating a time capsule to open in 10 years. To me, turning 30 signifies a time of growth and reflection. Building a time capsule is my way of honoring those values. It allows me to celebrate in a way that is intimate, yet social, because anyone who knows me at all is welcome to be apart of it. It's a quiet culmination of thoughts and feelings that I'm capturing in the moment of time right as I turn 30. Choosing this as the way I celebrate turning 30 reflects and solidifies my values as I enter the next decade of my life. The decision to put this together couldn't be more fitting for who I am, what I value, and what brings me joy.
So here I am, enjoying the last few days of my 20s, realizing that I couldn't be more excited to turn 30 because I'm doing it the way I always dreamed of it--connecting intimately with people all over the globe who have made me the person I am today. I don't want/need to make a big deal out of it or do anything fancy--I want to celebrate in a way that is peaceful, simple, and sentimental.
With that, I invite you to participate. I would love it if you would write me a letter--a letter that shares with me your thoughts about our relationship, a memory we shared together, a dream you wish for me, or anything that's on your mind. It would mean the world to me!
Shoot me a message for my address. I can't wait to hear from you!
As I knock things off my 30 Before 30 list, I could probably stand to do a better job of documenting my progress. Better late than never, right?
I'd been talking to my buddy Kurtis for a couple months about planning a backpacking trip. Lucky for me, he never done it either. He had heard wonderful things about Goat Rocks Lake, so we decided to check it out. It's a 12.8 mile loop with a 2590 foot elevation gain.
Anne and Jeff joined us for the weekend as well. Four was a good number of people to backpack with. Well, four and a dog.
We got a later start, which was nice meal-wise. The longer I could have marionberry jam bars and breakfast sandwiches, the better. We left Portland closer to 10 and started out on the trail a little bit before 1pm. Having hiked Dog Mountain a couple weeks ago, I pictured the entire hike being nothing but steep--thankfully, it wasn't. The first bit was relatively flat. We got to our first stopping point--there's a creek that flows through the trail, so I decided that this was a perfect time for a photo op. Let's be real here, backpacking is not complete without a selfie stick.
We hiked A LOT, until we got to a fork in the road where we needed to take the Lily Basin trail. Not a bad place to stop, take a breather, eat some chocolate, and snap a photo.
We continued our hike. This is where things started to get rough. As a first time backpacker, you start to realize just how heavy an extra 25-30 lbs. on your back can be. As you're hiking uphill, it only gets heavier. Oh, drinking water will surely make your pack lighter. However, seeing as how they ask you to relieve yourself 70 steps off the trail, your options are pretty much either trample through the woods down a cliff or hold it. I chose to continue carrying what I brought. It was pretty cool to see Jeff use his ceramic filter. I had brought the Sawyer Mini Filter but had never used it. More on that later.
After a lot of cursing and sweating (mostly from me), we finally could see the light at the end of the tunnel. Little did we know, it was a LONG tunnel. But we could see it!
And because no trip is complete without a jump photo...
I literally look like a skier who's jumping off a cliff, just about to have a yard sale. Kurtis suggested that I take off my pack, but I knew if I did, I wouldn't want to put it back on.
It was crazy. Saturday was the most tired I've ever seen Solv in the 5 1/2 years that I've had her. Granted, she's never had to work this hard for anything before. Hiking about 6 miles with 7 pounds of food and water on her back? This was a first. She laid down during our photo. She was so done. But we weren't done yet. We had at least another mile until we reached the lake.
After about 3-4 hours, we finally reached our campsite. We decided to put our packs down to see if there was a better spot than the one we'd found as well as check out the lake, but once that bad boy came off, there was no way he was going back on my back. That's where we set up shop. But first...
I could barely get my legs up high enough. They felt like jello, but I felt like I was as light as a feather. Eh, it'll do.
We wandered over to the lake where Kurtis and I tested out our water filters for the first time. He had the regular sized version of the Sawyer filter, so his bag was 32 oz. rather than a measly 16 oz. like mine. Still, they both worked, and neither one of us has died or had explosive diarrhea (well, I guess I can only speak for myself on this one--I didn't confirm with Kurtis). If he did, I would blame it on his dinner.
For dinner, he had this freeze dried lasagna that his friend had recommended to him. He thought it was decent, but I begged to differ. I cooked up my Fishpeople pasta in a bag--salmon with shell pasta and mushroom cream sauce. Delish. It was worth every ounce I had to carry. Anne had some black beans and rice. Turns out they were black bean flakes, resulting in the whole thing just tasting like mush. Jeff had a Mountain House freeze dried chicken teriyaki. Not bad, but not great. The chicken wasn't cooked all the way through, but when you're hungry, you're hungry. There were also other snacks like salami, cheese, Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, nuts, and a few other things. It was a pretty solid meal. We took a couple minutes to look over the nutritional facts on our food--lots of calorie packed foods. My noodles were basically cream and butter. I've never eaten that much saturated fat in one sitting. Not even during the oh-so-delicious annual burger week that's coming up.
The lake was stunningly green. Really, the view wasn't bad no matter where you were...well, except for if you'd fallen off the edge of a cliff.
We were all pretty spent by about 7:30 or 8pm, and I'm pretty sure we had all gotten a fairly solid night's rest the previous day. I can't remember being so tired--I can barely get to bed before midnight on a regular day, and here I was, old ladying it up and wanting to crawl into bed before 8pm. We decided to stay up until the sun set.
With Jeff as our resident astronomy connoisseur, he managed to get sweet GIF of the Milky Way on a cloudy day.
The next day we had about 5-6 miles left of our hike. I woke up around 6am, cooked a delicious freeze dried breakfast skillet (Kurtis will beg to differ), and Jeff made some awesome pancakes (tradition lives on!) that I threw a couple peanut butter M&Ms onto--legit breakfast. 👍
Not much else to say about day two, but a couple photos to share! Most of it was downhill, but with a backpack on, it was still pretty intense.
All in all, it was a great trip. We had some minor injuries, but we each made it in one piece! I definitely recommend trekking poles. I used them for the first time this weekend, and they saved me from falling all but one time, and I'm thankful for that.
We were also VERY thankful that the weather held up pretty nicely. No crazy hot temperatures for us!
My first backpacking trip was a lot of fun--I had some down time to get some reading done, had time to reflect, enjoy time with friends, and I was able to push my physical limits (and Solv's as well!) I had a great time and know that this won't be my last trip. It was tough, but that rarely ever discourages me. I think Solv had a great time though, and seeing her tired and happy is definitely worth another trip!
I would definitely recommend checking out the Goat Rocks Wilderness. There are so many awesome trails in this area. If you can get out there for a day hike, it's tough, but it can be done! Otherwise if you have some extra time, backpack it. It's an awesome experience.
In September of 2014, I had a couple weeks where I spent a lot of time reflecting upon my life and how I've chosen to live it. I've done a lot of really great things with my life so far--I've:
1. Visit my grandmother - scheduled...Hong Kong here I come!
2. Rekindle an old friendship - done
3. Get rid of 30 things in 30 days - done
4. Take more photos - done
5. Buy myself flowers - done
6. Pay a bill for a complete stranger - done-ish (I can do better)
7. Learn a new language - done
8. Make new friends - done
9. Travel with someone special - done
10. Visit friends regardless of where they are in the world - done
11. Make it a priority to volunteer - done
12. Hug more - done
13. Take a day off work to be in nature - done
14. Get a Vitamix - done
15. Learn a rap song from start to finish (and make it your go-to karaoke jam) - done
16. Go to Vegas, Ibiza, or Carnaval
17. Go without Facebook for a month (if not longer) - done
18. Be open and ready to fall in love - close enough
19. Take a trip to Vancouver BC - scheduled
20. Make time capsules with friends - scheduled
21. Go berry picking - done
22. Go to an NFL game - scheduled
23. Go backpacking - scheduled
24. Try a sensory deprivation tank - done
25. Watch Star Wars
26. Run a 5K (without b*tching about it) - done
27. Write a love letter to a stranger (moreloveletters.com)
28. Do a headstand
29. Go geocaching
30. Make a list of 40 things to do before turning 40
Yep, it's one hell of a list, but I'm determined to do as much of it as possible. You would think three months would be plenty of time, but you would be wrong. You see, I have lots of regular life to live, too, so in reality, I'm cramming a lot into a very short amount of time. (But really, what's new?)
With each decade, I will keep challenging myself with these lists. Therefore, I need your help. I have to come up with 40 things to do before I turn 40. What should I add? Here's my preliminary list:
1. Visit the Southern Hemisphere
2. Go hot air ballooning
3. Hold a koala
4. Visit the Taj Mahal
5. Attend/participate in Burning Man
6. Scuba dive
7. Go zip lining
8. Drive the Alcan
9. Go to a drive-in movie
10. Learn to play golf
11. Become a mentor
12. Raise lion cubs in Africa
13. Take a fancy cooking class
14. Join Toastmasters
15. Grow my own vegetables
16. Visit/live in another country for over a month
17. Learn to be a better swimmer
18. Learn how to fly fish/go fishing
19. Skinny dip in the ocean
20. Buy a homeless person lunch
21. Go paragliding/parasailing/hangliding
22. Start your own business
23. Rent a fancy sports car
24. Be an extra on a TV show or movie for a day
25. Try an escape room
26. Floss every day for 365 days straight
27. Plan a date to watch the sunrise
28. Decide whether or not you want kids
29. Teach a course in HR
30. Order every item on the menu at a restaurant
31. Learn enough Spanish to have a conversation
32. Try stand-up paddleboarding
33. Float in the Dead Sea
34. Dance in the rain and jump in puddles
35. Do the splits?
36. Be in the audience of The Price is Right?
37. Visit all seven continents
38. Volunteer in a foreign country
39. Max out your 401(k)
40. Make a list of 50 things to do before you turn 50
I appreciate your help with this--I'm very excited for the next decade of my life, and hope that some of you will not only join me in my journey of crossing things off my list, but will make your own as well.
I've never really been one to make any New Years resolutions, but it seems like this year, I had a couple unintentionally fall into my lap.
1. Yo estudio Español.
I had originally intended to learn Spanish about a year ago because I love learning new languages and I also wanted to make a trip to Spain in the coming years. Well, my plan got derailed a bit since I ended up cramming in some French phrases prior to my trip to Europe, and then fall term started the same week I was starting my new job. Terrible timing. Next session? Winter term, that started in January, which made this my first unintentional resolution.
2. The Buzzfeed Clean Eating Challenge
I went to the doctor's office for my regular checkup last month and when my blood work came back, she said that I should keep an eye on my cholesterol. "It looked like it was on the higher side." WTF. Of course I freak out a little and decide I need to eat more vegetables, when I remembered that I'd been wanting to try this 14 day clean eating challenge that Buzzfeed put together. I figured it would be nice to do a reset--low dairy, lean proteins, and lots of vegetables and some fruit. I started on January 11, and made it about 19 hours into my cleanse when my friends ordered pizza during the Golden Globes. Dammit. I swear just about every single day I would hear something to the effect of "Hey, I know you're on your cleanse, but I just baked an amazing coconut cake from scratch." or "Hey, I know you're on your cleanse but I have two cookies and two sandwiches for free if you want them." Needless to say, I managed to sabotage all eight of the eight days that I tried to be on this cleanse. Although I managed to do worse at this cleanse than I've ever done on anything in my life (this includes the time I forgot how to ride a bike at the BMX place and flipped over the handlebars of my bike), I still succeeded at adding more vegetables into my diet. I have a strong love of steaks, ice cream, cheese, and just about everything that's terrible for me, and the important thing isn't just to cut it out completely, but scale back and supplement with vegetables.
3. Getting in Shape
Back in December, I started getting a little bored of my workouts. My class got canceled (but I managed to pick up another one!) I decided to sign up for kettle bell classes to make lifting a little bit more fun and challenging. I went once in December, and then started going once I got back from visiting home for the holidays. I haven't been as on top of my workouts as I'd like to be, but where I am now compared to where I've been my entire life? I am leaps and bounds further along than I would've ever imagined. You see, growing up in a traditional Chinese household, believe it or not, fitness and athletics were never a priority. I've typically been skinny for most of my life, thanks to genetics. Then there came a time when all-you-can-eat college buffets and spending excess meal points on pints of Häägen Dazs started defeating the power of genetics, and I decided to start taking care of my body.
I've had a couple really great experiences at this kettle bell gym. At my second class, I met the owner of the gym and he said he would help walk me through the exercises since I was new. Once we got started, he watched me as I went through a series of dead lifts, squats, and swings. He said I looked "fit" and wanted to know "where I came from". I looked at him in absolute confusion because first of all, how do I even answer that questions, and second of all, he thinks I'm FIT?! I've been called "skinny" my entire life (until I wasn't--womp womp), but never in a million years has anyone ever called me fit! Anyways, he said he wanted to know what format I came from because he said I had good form. Awesome and mind blowing all at the same time.
I ended up working a little late one day, so I figured I would try my best to make it to kettle bell class since I didn't make it to 5:20 Turbo. We ended up doing a bunch of different workouts and were paired up with a random partner, and I was paired up with Mike, a guy who looked around 6'3" and 250-275lbs. I kept trying to go up in weights until I absolutely couldn't even lift the bell off the ground, and then I noticed Mike doing the same thing. We would both hit moments where we would need to spot each other and where our muscles hit absolute exhaustion. After class, he asked me how long I'd been going to that gym because I seemed like I knew what I was doing. When I told him I teach class, he said that he could see me as a trainer, and that he thought I was really motivating for him and good at coaching him through the workout. Once again, awesome and mind blowing at the same time. So within all of this, I'm getting stronger every day, and apparently have a third accidental New Years resolution.
Those are some of my thoughts for now--I have a lot of goals set for this year. Some I can cross off (go without Facebook for a month or longer), whereas others likely won't happen (I was hoping to go to Vegas, Ibiza, or Carnival). Either way, I'm proud of myself for what I've committed myself to. It's amazing to know that even though I will run into obstacles, I will find a way to make things work out for the best.
How about you? Any New Years resolutions you've kept so far/broken already?
I, like many others, have 'wasted' (debatable terminology, I know) countless hours scanning our news feed. And while I love using Facebook to connect with those around me, I've always had a fairly solid love-hate relationship with technology. I love finding ways to use it to help me stay in touch with those I may not be able to see as often as I'd like (my love affair with FaceTime is undeniable). However, I like to unplug from time to time, disconnect, and fall off the face of the Earth. I love the feeling of going camping--somewhere where I don't get reception, where I can leave my phone in my car for a few days, and just connect with the environment and people around me.
It's been on my list for a while to spend a solid 30 days without (logging onto) Facebook before I turn 30. Well, it looks like that time is now. Amidst a new roommate, a trip to Europe, and a transition to a new job, I am, indeed, choosing to fall off the face of the Earth. And with that, I'll see you on October 12. Cheers, my friends!
P.S. I do still have a cell phone (with FaceTime!) :)
Some extra food for thought:
I wrote this blog posting back in October of 2012, and just now found it as I was cleaning out my inbox. It never got posted, so here it is:
An article like this would've been really helpful for me while I was in college:
I've never been good at being in a relationship, and I recently realized that at the age of 25. I don't trust fully because people have given me good reasons not to. I expect too much because I give too much, and I end up losing myself in the process. I date people who are totally wrong for me in so many ways. I end up in relationships with people who don't see eye to eye with me on what being in a relationship even means.
It fascinates me that no matter how confident you are, no matter how high your self esteem is, that being in a relationship can somehow make you start questioning your words, actions, habits, and behaviors. I end up feeling like I'm not doing things right, like I'm not girly, emotional, or affectionate enough. I feel like maybe I'm trying too hard, or maybe I'm not trying hard enough. And maybe I have biology to blame for this. (http://thoughtcatalog.com/2011/why-im-thrilled-about-being-away-from-my-boyfriend-a-lesson-for-the-ladies/)
I don't know how true that is, but I know that feeling--the feeling of finding yourself when you're lost. It's invigorating--there's no other feeling like it. I know the past year and a half of singledom has been exactly what I've wanted and needed (read: http://thoughtcatalog.com/2012/why-im-not-upset-about-being-single/). When things aren't right, I have nobody to blame, and I can figure out what I need. This is the time for things to be all about ME. I can figure out what I want my life to look like, and do what it takes to make it what I want. I can figure out exactly what makes me happy, what makes me feel whole.
That's not to say that relationships don't teach you important life lessons. Throughout my relationships, I've learned that I'm a little different--time to "unwind" isn't a necessity. I can't say I really understand what it means to take time to unwind. For some people, I guess that means immediately changing out of work clothes into sweats. For other people it means watching TV for an hour after work. Whatever it means, I don't need it, and having to wait through someone else's "unwind time" is less than ideal.
I love having plans. I love doing new things. I know I'm happiest and at my best when I'm making memories with friends, when I'm volunteering to help others, when I'm getting to know someone better. I'm happiest when I have plans back to back to back. Weird, I know. But at least I know this is a fact. Hopefully that knowledge will help me in my relationships going forward.
There are so many relationship articles out there, but it's important to recognize that it's not a one size fits all approach. Everyone will need something different from a relationship, so I encourage you to take the time to figure that out. Dating is just as good as helping you figure out what you want as it is in helping you figure out what you don't want.
Ways You Should Expect To Be Treated In A Relationship
Aug. 3, 2012 By Ryan O'Connell
Don’t expect to be treated like a ~~~~~~princess~~~~~~ or a queen. What does that even mean? Do you want someone to obsessively dote on you and serve you breakfast in bed, or do you just want to have, like, a good partner? Give as much as you take. Don’t expect someone to give you foot massages every day while you just sit back and get worshipped. Both parties need to feel wanted and cared for.
Why I’m Thrilled About Being Away From My Boyfriend (A Lesson For The Ladies)
Jun. 7, 2011 By Lisa de la Torre
Okay, so maybe ‘thrilled’ isn’t the word. But I can’t lie—for the past few weeks that I’ve been without my boyfriend, I’ve been experiencing an emotion one can only classify as ‘joy,’ or something like it. Now, I know that the more cynical readers probably think I’m just happy because I get to prey on all the FiNe PiEcEs Of aSS that I see on a daily basis, but I assure you, that’s not why. In fact, I don’t think I’ve even seen that many fine pieces since I’ve been home from school (attractive males were never a selling point for my hometown.) The real reason for my recent happiness is deeper than that, and I think a lot of girls may benefit from hearing it, because I don’t think I’m the only one who feels this way or is capable of feeling this way. Check it.
Why I’m Not Upset About Being Single
May 4, 2012 By Mila Jaroniec
Normally when people say they love being single, we’re hesitant to believe them. They’re all like “Omg I LOVE being single! Being single is the best!” and we’re all like “Yeah, okay Carrie Bradshaw. Tell that to the wine and bon bons you’ll be faceplanting later when a surprise showing of The Notebook catches you off guard.” That whole single-and-fabulous thing has been done to death, don’t you know? Come off it and be single and desperate like the rest of us diurnal humans, please.
For years I've learned the hard way that money plays a big part in the dating world. I'd tried to ignore it for a long time, but it's an important topic for couples to address in order to determine lifestyle/value compatibility.
My fiscally conservative nature has been a source of contention in some (read: ALL) of my past relationships, and I recently stumbled across an article that talks about how to address finances when it comes to our dating lives. These issues, among many, are important to bring up early on in a relationship before feelings cloud our judgement.
Granted, it's awkward to bring these matters up, but there are definitely ways they can be discussed. You don't have to ask someone their credit score on your first date, but you should definitely take notice of your partner's habits. Does your date spend money on useless things (in your eyes), or do they refuse to spend money on things you deem worth spending money on? Who typically foots the bill for meals, and is that really what makes both people happy? If so, why? What about that arrangement works for both parties?
Dating And Dollars: How To Mix Love And Money In Your Twenties
By Samantha Sharf
11/26/2013 @ 4:59PM
The internet is brimming with money tips for newlyweds — open a joint account, talk about your money values, budget for date night. While sound advice, these articles ignore a simple truth: your money relationship doesn’t begin when you walk down the aisle. It starts on your very first date. Rather than discussing finances in romantic relationships, we tend to quickly and quietly adapt to our beliefs about how the other person wants to deal with the issue. So if Mr. Wonderful pays on dates one and two, his dinner partner may assume he is happy to pay on dates three, four and 50. But that often leads to frustration from at least one party. Maybe, like most millennials, Mr. Wonderful can’t really afford to treat every time. Perhaps his date feels guilty for not contributing financially.
A couple weeks ago, I came across an interesting article about punctuality. (Thanks, Jeanne!)
1. They’re realistic thinkers.
Reading this was a huge eye opener for me--it doesn't just reinforce my habits and the things I'm doing right/wrong, it really makes me think about the way I think.
For example, I never really thought about the anxiety I feel when I'm early for things. When I have a morning seminar, I try to plan for traffic (accounting for "buffer time" and being a "realistic thinker"). If I leave my house by 7am, to get to an event downtown by 8am (15 minutes without traffic, up to 1 hour with traffic), there are times when I will be downtown by 7:30am, parked, and way too early for my own good.
I get anxious when I start to think about the small talk I'll have to make with people I don't know first thing in the morning when I would rather not talk to anyone. I think about the extra sleep I could've gotten. I think about all the things in the house I could've taken care of. It all makes me anxious, so then I find myself killing time in my car, trying to power nap, read, or play a game.
I'm organized when I have time and choose to make it a priority. However, I have never really been able to stick with routines. I don't do everything in the same exact order every morning. I change things around depending on how I feel, and if I feel any negative energy or tiredness when I wake up, I usually find ways to combat it before I leave the house. I'll put on a sitcom, read, or make a hearty breakfast for a good pick-me-up. I would rather start my day off in a good mood and be late than be on time and waste the precious time I have to live.
It's interesting perspective though. Maybe someday I'll adjust my habits, but for now, I'll probably choose to live a low-stress, high quality life!